O’Halloran, Bernice Jeanette
April 5, 1937 – August 3, 2016
With great sorrow we announce the sudden passing of the matriarch of our family.
Bernice Jeanette (Lathigee) O’Halloran, born at home in Main-A-Dieu, Cape Breton, to Thomas H. Lathigee and Rose T. Burke, the youngest of seven siblings, has died in hospital, after a short illness, with family members by her side. It is tragically ironic that the person with the biggest heart we will ever know passed quickly following a severe heart attack.
Bernice is survived by her husband John (LCol John F. O’Halloran, Ret.), sons John and Patrick, their wives Jennifer Klatt and Martine Bouchard, and grandchildren Matthew, Katie, Stephanie and Keith, and by her oldest sister “Leona” McNeil of New Waterford, Cape Breton, and older brothers Reverend “Tom” Lathigee of Sydney, Cape Breton, and Arnold Lathigee (Karen Lent) of Fall River, Nova Scotia. She is affectionately remembered by the children and grandchildren of her sisters and brother.
Bernice is predeceased by twin sisters Marguerite Lussier and Thelma Tryon, and by a particularly beloved sister, Rose Marina Brown, whose children, Marina and Jim, were especially dear to Bernice given Rose Marina’s tragic illness and too-early death. Bernice was a significant presence not only in the lives of Marina and Jim, but she was a devoted (Great-) “Aunt Bernice” to Devon, Aiden, Amelie and Lucas.
Bernice Lathigee attended grade school in Main-A-Dieu, Cape Breton, a small, close- knit, but thriving fishing community of many families centred around the strong and positive influence of the Catholic Church. Her father was a lobster fisherman, a long-serving County Councillor, and a Justice of the Peace. Bernice reluctantly left her home to spend her last high school year at Holy Angels Academy, a convent-style boarding school, in Sydney, Cape Breton. Like her mother, and future daughters-in-law, Bernice was to become a school teacher. She graduated from the Nova Scotia Normal College in Truro in 1955. Although she missed her parents greatly while at Holy Angels and Normal College, she was friendly and vivacious. The College Year Book reported that she was “kept occupied as a member of the French Club and Glee Club”, was a class reporter for The Centennial, and was able to find time for skating, dancing, swimming and playing ball. (We’re certain this wasn’t mere puffery: almost sixty years later, her grandchildren would be impressed with her whiffle ball batting skills.)
Bernice quickly became employed as a primary teacher. Desiring a university education, she paid her own way through her B.A. and B.Ed. by teaching in Antigonish while attending fall and winter classes at Saint Francis Xavier University and taking summer classes at Xavier Junior College in Sydney. Even with her limited financial means, she routinely sent money and gifts to her parents. By all accounts, she was an excellent teacher who engaged her students and was respected by their parents.
It was at “St. F. X.” that she met her future husband of 54 years after she accidentally (or so it was reported…) tripped him while the two skated with their friends. John O’Halloran was attending university on an R.O.T.P. scholarship prior to being commissioned as an Army officer in the Royal Canadian Corps of Signals. The couple graduated together in 1961, and were married at Main-A-Dieu on August 21, 1962 by her brother, Father Lathigee, known to family members as “Father Howard”. (In the typical fashion of a large Catholic family of the time, her oldest brother had answered the family suppertime prayers and entered the priesthood, despite, as often reported with a twinkle by Bernice, being devilishly mischievous and very handsome and therefore a most unlikely candidate for the priesthood.)
When asked by her young sons why she had picked John to be her husband, Bernice quietly told her impressionable boys that she knew he would be a good and faithful man who would never fail to provide for them. This was another in what was to be a long record of Bernice’s entirely accurate character assessments.
During her early adulthood, at a time when distances seemed so much greater and long-distance calls were simply too expensive, Bernice was a prolific letter-writer and gift-sender to her parents, in-laws and relatives. Her thoughtfulness towards her own parents and her husband’s mother and stepfather was unparalleled, even in lean times. As her children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews and their children would later learn, she had an inexhaustible and indivisible supply of love, attention and patience for all those persons close to her in her very wide circle of family and friends.
For all of her 79 years, Bernice held her own mother in particularly high esteem. Rose, who died at age 75 in 1973, was in her daughter’s thoughts every day of Bernice’s life. Bernice sought to emulate her mother’s disposition in all her daily activities and personal dealings, and at every major decision. We will miss Bernice as much as we know she missed her own mother. Measured by anyone’s standards, Bernice met and exceeded what she thought her mother’s approach would be at all of life’s many turns. Just like her mother, Bernice was faultlessly discreet, endlessly charitable, unfailingly supportive, and was an insightful - but always measured - judge of character, whose advice and constructive criticisms were thoughtfully offered and only rarely, if ever, declined.
Her marriage to John was entirely successful, and sometimes adventurous. His postings took the family to: Kingston, Ontario, in 1962 and later in 1968 when John attended the Canadian Forces Land and Staff College; Germany in 1965; CFB Gagetown in 1966 and later in 1969; and London, England, for a three year term commencing in 1972, during which time John served on the Canadian Defence Liaison Staff of the Canadian High Commission.
During the family’s three years in London, Bernice and John realized they had an exceptional opportunity for new experiences. Three years of travel throughout England and Scotland, attendances at theatrical and musical productions as well as military ceremonies and functions, a notable attendance at a Buckingham Palace Garden Party with the Queen, examinations of historic sites, ruins, and word-class museums and exhibitions, (and for the boys, their attendance at the prestigious American School in London), left an indelible impression on the family. Always one to encourage higher education, Bernice told her boys that travel was, in itself, another form of education.
Early in her marriage, Bernice established herself as an excellent “military wife”. She supported her husband’s career not only on the home front, but at military social functions. She was attractive, an easy and engaging conversationalist, and a much sought-after dance partner. (Bernice and John were known to be versatile and skilled dancers.) At her dinner parties, she was a creative, prolific and always successful cook, and a doting hostess. John’s career brought many new people into their lives, and Bernice ensured that the bonds of friendship were maintained and strengthened. Some of those friendships, like those shared with Donald and Claire Roy, and Robert and Elise Farrell, have endured for 50 years or more.
Upon their return to Canada in 1975, the family settled permanently in what was then Nepean, Ontario. Although distant from most of her family members in Nova Scotia, Bernice was pleased to be closer to her sister Marguerite, who had lived in Ottawa with her own young family for many years. Marguerite’s sons were similarly aged to Bernice’s sons, and Marguerite and her spouse were Patrick’s God Parents. The sisters were close, (and, as the children noted, near equals in culinary abilities) and when Marguerite’s daughter married, Bernice played a significant role in the preparations and celebrations. The sisters’ families had many special times together, especially during summers spent boating on the Rideau Lakes system.
While she had some experience in volunteerism throughout her life, for example, as the President of what was known as the Ladies’ Auxiliary at CFB Gagetown commencing in 1969, and later as a member of the Ottawa Diplomatic Club, it was when her sons entered university that she embarked on a remarkable record of volunteerism, public service, and political involvement.
Bernice was a Board Member and Director of the Nepean Museum, and a Founding Member of the Nepean branch of the Canadian Federation of University Women. She was recognized for volunteerism as a recipient of the Canada 125 Medal and an Ontario Government Volunteer Award.
Outside her family and long-time friends, however, Bernice is best remembered for her political activities with four levels of government in the Ottawa area.
Her political involvement in Nepean (later part of the expanded City of Ottawa), her home for four decades, began with volunteering for Nepean Councillor Gord Hunter’s election run in the early 1980’s, and, in terms of personal achievement, culminated with her narrowly losing the Liberal nomination in the then-new federal riding of Nepean-Carleton in 1997. Bernice took the loss to David Pratt (who would go on to win the election and take a Cabinet seat) in stride and in good humour, since, as we all knew, she never sought personal gain, but another avenue to action her motto of “Putting People First”. Her involvement in politics, however, didn’t end there.
Particularly in the years between 1982 and 1997, and for some time afterward, Bernice was involved in all aspects of nomination and election campaigns at both the provincial and federal levels. She attended federal Liberal conventions throughout Canada. From door-to-door campaigner she expanded her capabilities with numerous turns as campaign manager and was involved with not only the successful Liberal campaigns in her own ridings, but in the surrounding areas as well. She held various executive positions, including President, in both the provincial and federal Liberal associations in her home ridings. She was an indefatigable and unflappable organizer, who, when all was said and done, only emerged with a greater circle of friends and supporters of all ages.
At one point, Bernice campaigned for a Liberal nomination candidate who ran against eventual two-term Nepean Member of Parliament Beryl Gaffney. The two women would soon become political allies and great friends. Bernice often told us that one of the best things that even happened in her life was her relationship with Beryl Gaffney.
Although Beryl was, before she met Bernice, already an experienced and accomplished regional politician, Bernice was instrumental in Beryl’s federal election and re-election campaigns and worked tirelessly at MP Gaffney’s Nepean constituency and Parliament Hill offices for over nine years. She relished this time, and she and John welcomed Beryl and Bert into their social network. Bernice worked with the established MPs and their staffers (of all political stripes), but particularly enjoyed working with young persons whose careers were gaining momentum. She became knowledgeable in the day to day political wrangling and legal workings of Parliament and its offices, and, yes, her social circle continued to expand. (Were we to ask him, author Malcolm Gladwell would, we’re certain, call Bernice a “connector”.)
Bernice’s employment in Beryl’s offices, her first full-time employment since the early sixties, gave her an additional sense of purpose and a measure of financial independence that led to the purchase of the family cottage at Lac Sinclair in 1989. The cottage soon became the focal point for family gatherings over all seasons but especially in summer. Every visit was an excuse for a celebration of a graduation, scholastic or artistic achievement, birthday, anniversary or other special date. Bernice particularly enjoyed her times with her younger visitors, whom she engaged in playing cards and board games, sometimes teaching the finer parts of the games, sometimes carefully losing on purpose to encourage the youngsters. There was always laughter, music, good food, and good company. This summer was no exception, as Bernice and John hosted, at different times, all of her family. We recall wistfully that Bernice’s culinary energies weren’t dimmed even in the days immediately before her sudden passing.
Cottage life at Lac Sinclair strengthened the bonds of Bernice’s extended family and, like the excellent Christmas holidays spent with Bernice and John, allowed her to become especially close to her daughters-in-law. She loved them as if they were her own daughters. Martine and Jennifer felt the same connection to Bernice, and feel the same profound sense of loss experienced by their husbands.
In the months prior to her death, Bernice was, among other family activities, engaged in creating photographic albums of the lives of her children, her grandchildren, her nieces and nephews, and her great nieces and nephews. An uncharacteristic personal indulgence, which we shall jealously guard and for which we will be long grateful, was the creation of a photographic album of her political acquaintance. The pictures witness her association and friendship with those she had worked for and with, including mayors, MPs, MPPs, Cabinet Ministers at both provincial and federal levels, and Premiers and Prime Ministers.
These photos weren’t merely evidence of chance encounters or quick “selfies” with political celebrities: as we knew, Bernice really was on a first name basis with many of the important political figures of the time, and those connections made for great stories (mostly told by someone other than Bernice). When visiting Nova Scotia, former Prime Minister John Turner politely interrupted Bernice and an awed mother-in-law to greet Bernice by first name and speak with the two women. While dining at the Parliamentary Restaurant, Bernice’s tablemates would often be surprised by the identities of her well-wishers and the breadth of her acquaintance. (She was, after all, a maritimer.) When she sat with then Prime Minister Jean Chretien as his special guest at the Liberal Party’s flagship fundraising Maple Leaf Dinner, the PM was astonished to find that, almost without exception, the party faithful lined-up to greet him were already personally acquainted with his seatmate.
In her political life, she demonstrated the same characteristics that led to her personal and familial successes. We continue to marvel at how many lives she touched and we continue to discover, or recall, her many kindnesses. Her full life was too short for us.
We are also reminded that Bernice weathered her own personal unhappinesses. She felt deeply, yet stoically, the loss of all those who passed before her, especially her mother Rose, her closest-in-age sister Rose Marina, her mother-in-law Frances, and good friend Bev Daigeler, to whom Bernice had been a true support after the passing of Bev’s spouse Hans, a two-term Liberal MPP, and himself a great friend to Bernice and John.
Bernice’s own main pillars of support were her husband and, of course, her Catholic faith. Throughout her life, she was spiritual and deeply, but quietly, religious. Bernice and John were lifelong church-goers, even on vacation, and during their winter stays in Saint Augustine, Florida, during their retirement. In Nepean and Ottawa, they were members of Saint John the Apostle, Saint Maurice and, for the past 15 years, Saint Monica parishes. In trying times, Bernice would both act and pray. Her children would remember her “saying the Novena” (a multiday set of rosary-based prayers) just as her own mother had done.
Through her religious upbringing, Bernice had learned, and then never forgotten, the corporal and spiritual acts of mercy, and she observed and actioned the tenets of her faith in her everyday life. She ensured her sons had a religious upbringing. Similarly, Bernice was instrumental in teaching her grandchildren their prayers, and celebrated their first communions, confirmations, and initiations as altar servers.
Throughout her life, Bernice acted on her deeply-held, and oft-spoken belief that it is only through giving that anyone would achieve true happiness.
We hope that those of us remaining, and remembering her, can live up to her fine example.
